Council Balls

Council Balls

One of the conclusions I have arrived at over the years is that to work for a local council in an administrative capacity you must satisfy two requirements. Firstly, you must be unemployable in the private sector and secondly you must have no element of common sense. On the plus side though, the tax payer provides you with a massive pension in exchange for living such a meaningless existence.

So, what do these three people have in common?

Sheila Allen lollipop lady
Sheila Allen
Colin Spencer lollipop man
Colin Spencer
Nkosana Mdikane lollipop man
Nkosana Mdikane


They are of course either a lollipop man or lollipop lady 🙂 but there are other things they have in common.

For example, at the time they were working they were loved by the children and their parents, they were jolly, caring and happy in their job.

They also high-fived if a child high-fived them while crossing the road. The children thought it was great, the parents liked it, but the council misanthropes banned it on health and safety grounds.

There is no legal obligation for councils to provide school crossing patrols and some councils have slashed school crossing budgets despite rising injuries.

That’s alright though because health and safety cannot apply to a school crossing patrol that does not exist.

I wrote this post after reading the following in Scotland’s Daily Record:

“A lollipop man once known as the happiest in Scotland has told how he quit in disgust after council bosses banned him from high-fiving kids.

Locals in Dumbarton loved how Nkosana Mdikane danced and sang at his crossing and gave the pupils high fives.

But officials at West Dunbartonshire Council put a stop to the fun – because of health and safety.

They ordered Nkosana to “remain static with one hand on the stick and the other stretched outwards”.

The council said they were following national guidelines but youngsters and parents at Aitkenbar Primary were dismayed. And Nkosana, 75, said he couldn’t go on working after the ban took all the enjoyment out of his job.

“It wasn’t the same any more,” he added. “I was sad and embarrassed that I wasn’t allowed to interact with the kids.

“I resigned with a bleeding heart. I told them I had an issue with my health, but it was an excuse.”

Nkosana said he is lonely in retirement. He can’t even go back to the street where he worked because the sight of the crossing makes him so upset.

He left his post last June, four months after the high-five ban was imposed. Widespread local anger, and a Facebook petition with 14,000 signatures, failed to persuade the council to back down.”


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