Parks Police Triumph
If you are a wannabe policeman or policewoman and little or no common sense you should apply to join the Wandsworth Council parks police. Employed by the council and separate from the Metropolitan Police you will have no powers of arrest, but you do get to wear all the gear. Nice uniform, fluorescent jacket, torch, radio, stab vest etc.
As you strut around your allocated park you will get to use your total lack of common sense in all sorts of situations. Take this real example from a couple of weeks ago.
Hariz Waiyasil and his 3 year old son Idrees were in Battersea Park, in south west London enjoying playing with a small remote-controlled car. They were confronted by uniformed and fully equipped parks police officers who instructed them to stop playing, insisting that mechanically propelled vehicles were banned under park rules.
Not unnaturally Idrees started to cry. Undeterred the brave officers threatened his father with the issue of a caution if they continued to play. As a finishing touch father and son were asked to leave the area.
Job done! Congratulations to the idiot in Wandsworth Council who employed these people.